Tips for not spoiling a child
There is no guide on how to be the perfect father. When we are parents nobody tells us if we are doing it right or wrong or the consequences of our way of educating.
To spoil a child can lead to problems for the future adult, to bring difficulties that can be avoided from a healthy and constructive education. Follow these 8 tips so you do not spoil your child.
1. Be a role model
The main identity figure for a child is their parents. Behave as you want your child to behave when he is older.
How do you want your child to treat women? Unknown people? To other relatives? Well you are his teacher, be a good example.
2. Set Clear Limits and Comply
Children do not know how far they can go. They are going to try everything, and you are the figure that must say enough, and follow exactly what you say.
In the mental schema of the child, what he understands most is actions. At the time of the limits you have to act, and be consistent with it. Be firm but not hard, be fair but not soft.
3. Out of emotional blackmail
Children play a lot with emotional blackmail. Do not give in to their pleas, it will be much worse if you do. Explain why you can not do what he wants and avoid using emotional blackmail as well.
“You’re going to kill me in disgust.” “I thought you were more studious.” Phrases like these can cause frustrations and disappointments in the child negative for him.
4. Reinforcement and Punishment
It is very simple, the technique that has shown the best results is positive reinforcement and negative reinforcement.
When your child does something that is not allowed or do something you have told him not to do: take something he likes (this afternoon he will not play with friends, he will not watch TV, you take his favorite toy for a day). When your child has fulfilled and behaved well, reassure him by giving him something he likes (this afternoon we will buy treats, you can spend 15 minutes playing with your friend).
5. United couple will never be beaten
It is essential not to spoil your child that your partner and you agree on the rules, reinforcements and punishments. Have a talk about it and clarify everything.
6. Do not be afraid to disappoint him
Your son does not know the limits. He will test them and question them with the aim of getting what he wants, and you should not feed that false need.
Do not feel bad if your child cries or gets angry for not getting what he expects. Facilitating things involves taking away their value, and your child needs to know that the world does not work that way. Things are won with effort and will and not because yes, so do not yield to their entreaties.
For example, if your child wants a bike this Eid, create a reinforcement plan with points. When you reach X points for having met the rules and limits you have imposed you can enjoy your bike. Thus, you stimulate a figure of healthy authority and also teach you the value of things.
7. Do not feed false hopes
Promising things you will not do is devastating to your child and to you. For your child because he feels defrauded, deceived and taught that the effort he has made is in vain. For you because your child has lost his or her reference to a coherent, fulfilling, whole person. In short, a person he would like to be.
8. Neither beauty nor the beast
Do not teach your son to fear you, do not threaten him. A fearful son of his father, is a son who does not express, and a son who does not express is an unhappy son.
A father is not a friend, but not a villain. If your child sees in you coherence in your words and actions, respect for others, empathy you will be telling your child that you are a father that you can trust because you are a person faithful to their principles and emotions, and that is what You must no longer teach your child, but transmit.