Signs that confirm that you are emotionally intelligent
Emotional Intelligence (IE) is that “something” intangible in each of us. It affects the way we manage our behavior, manage social relationships and make decisions that mark our lives.
These 18 signs will help you know if you are an emotionally intelligent person:
1. You have a rich emotional vocabulary
All people experience emotions, but only a select group can identify them accurately as they feel them. Research shows that only 36% of people are able to do so, which is a problem because unidentified emotions can lead to misunderstandings, leading to irrational decisions and counterproductive actions.
IE people control their emotions because they understand and employ extensive emotional vocabulary to do so. While many people would simply say, “I feel bad,” IE people will say, “I feel frustrated,” “bothered, confused”. The more specific your words, the better you will see how you feel exactly, what caused it and what to do to remedy it.
2. You are curious about people
No matter if they are extroverts or introverts, IE people are curious about everyone around them. This curiosity is a product of empathy, one of the most important characteristics for a high emotional intelligence. The more you care about others and what is happening to them, the more curiosity you will have about them.
3. You embrace change
IE people are flexible and constantly adapt. They know that the fear of change paralyzes and is a threat to their success and their happiness. They look for change in every corner and are willing to take action to make it happen.
4. Know your strengths and weaknesses
IE people not only understand emotions, they know what they are good at and what they are not. Having a high IE means you know your strengths and you know how to lean on them to get the most out of them while keeping your weaknesses away from you.
5. You have become a good connoisseur
Much of EI is reduced to social awareness. Or what is the same, the ability to read and understand others. Over time this skill makes you an exceptional connoisseur. People are no mystery to you anymore. You know them, you know what’s in them and you understand their motivations, even those that hide under the appearance.
You can establish real relationships because you are able to observe / read in others your emotions, facilitating mutual understanding and establishing close relationships.
6. You find it hard to offend
If you have a solid idea of who you are, it is difficult for someone to say or do something that offends you. IE people are self-confident and open-minded. They can even make fun of themselves and let other people do it because they can perfectly differentiate humor from offense.
7. You know how to say no (yourself and others)
Emotional intelligence involves knowing how to exert self-control. Studies conducted at the University of California show that the greater difficulty in saying “no”, the greater the chance of suffering from stress, burnout and even depression.
Knowing to say “no” is really a big challenge for many people. “No” is a powerful word but you should not be afraid of it. When it comes time to say “no” emotionally intelligent people avoid phrases like “I do not think I can” or “I do not know for sure”. Saying “no” to a new commitment honors your existing commitments and gives you the opportunity to fulfill them successfully.
8. You release the mistakes
IE people move away from their mistakes, but without forgetting them. They keep their mistakes at a safe distance, where they can no longer affect them but can be useful enough to serve as a reference for their future.
Living in your mistakes makes you anxious and scared. Forgetting them completely will make you repeat them again. Balance lies in your ability to transform your failures into small improvements. This creates the tendency to do well again every time you fall.
9. Do not expect anything in return
When someone gives you something spontaneously, without expecting anything in return, leaves a great impression. For example, you had an interesting conversation with someone about a book and the next time you see you appear with that book in hand to give it to you. IE people build strong relationships because they think a lot about each other.
10. Do not hold a grudge
The negative emotions that accompany resentment are actually a stress response. Simply by thinking about the situation you lead your body to the survival mechanism, which involves fighting or fleeing a threat. When the threat is imminent this reaction is critical to your survival, but when the threat is something past experiencing that stress wreaks havoc on your body and your mental health with devastating consequences over time.
In fact, researchers at Emory University have shown that stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart problems. Holding on to resentment is holding on to stress, and IE people avoid this at all costs. Letting go of the grudge not only makes you feel better, it also improves your health.
11. Neutralizes toxic people
Dealing with difficult people is frustrating and exhausting for most. IE people control their interactions with toxic people by keeping their emotions in check. Do not let anger and frustration feed chaos. They take into account the point of view of the toxic person and are able to find solutions and points in common. They handle the situation rationally.
12. Do not seek perfection
People know that there is no perfection. And is that when perfection is your goal you will always have a persistent feeling of failure that makes you want to give up or reduce your effort. You end up regretting what you could not accomplish and what you could have done. When in reality what you have to do is move forward, excited about what you have achieved and what you have left to achieve.
13. value what you have
Taking time to be thankful for everything you have is not something that simply needs to be done, it also improves your mood – it reduces the stress hormone cortisol by 23%. Research at the University of California found that people who worked every day to cultivate gratitude experienced better mood, energy, and physical well-being. Surely it had to do with your cortisol levels.
Taking time to disconnect from everything is a sign of Emotional Intelligence. It helps you keep stress under control and live the moment. Studies have shown that something as simple as disconnecting from e-mail reduces stress levels.
The technology allows constant communication and the expectation that you must be available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. But you must learn to disconnect and to focus simply on the here and now.
15. Do not drink too much caffeine
Drinking excessive amounts of caffeine causes the release of adrenaline, and adrenaline is the source of the fight or flight response. The fight or flight mechanism leaves aside rational thinking in favor of a faster response to ensure survival.
This is important when a bear chases you, but not so much when you are responding to a hard email. IE people know that caffeine is a problem and they do not allow you to take the best of them.
16. You sleep enough
When you sleep your brain literally recharges. IE people know that their self-control, attention and memory are reduced when they do not get enough sleep. So they make sleeping a priority.
17. Neglecting Negative Thoughts
The more you ruminate negative thoughts the more power you are giving them. Most of our negative thoughts are just that: thoughts. They are not facts or nothing has happened in your head
Emotionally intelligent people separate their thoughts from the facts in order to escape the cycle of negativity and move towards a new positive perspective.
18. Do not let anyone limit your joy
When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction is derived from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the owner of your own happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something they have done they will not let anyone’s opinions or sarcastic comments keep them away.
It is impossible to eliminate the opinions of others, but it is very possible to make them not affect you. Your self-esteem and self-concept – the opinion you have of yourself – must be born from the inside, which is what your opinion is for.